Deciding to be HAPPY!
I’ve made the decision, again, to be happy!!! I know that I’m the only one that can make me happy, I’ve known that for a long time. If you ask people who know me, they would say that I’m a very happy person (at least up until one year ago), who has a very positive outlook on life. I’ve really been in a bad place this past week or two or three, probably haven’t felt this bad since February. For some reason I haven’t been able to shake it, my mind kept re-living the past and I haven’t stopped it. Because that is what it takes, a conscious effort to stop thinking negative thoughts and refocus on something positive.
I know it’s hard, easier said than done, but the only one that can do it is me! Me walking around feeling sorry for myself, eating junk so that I end up feeling even worse afterwords, is not hurting anybody else, except for my kids… That’s the saddest part about it, when I’m depressed I’m not a good mother, which of course makes me feel even worse… An evil cycle that I’m now braking, again! I know there will be bad times again, there always is in life, but it seems like I’m able to snap out of the “divorce depression” faster and faster, the bad times lasts shorter and shorter.
I have to say, just taking the decision makes me feel better. I try to smile through the day instead of keeping my head down. Smile at the dishes, smile at the stranger when picking up my girls, smile at my cat who wants to go out but it’s raining.