Alone but Strong

Single mother of two beautiful girls trying to rebuild my life. One day at a time.

My Love for Travel

I love to travel! My ex and I did a lot of traveling in the beginning of our relationship, not as much as I would have liked, but money was tight so you do what you can. My job allowed me to travel once every or every other month, which was wonderful. Since flights are normally less expensive if you include a Saturday night stay, my boss would allow me to stay until Sunday, pay for the extra hotel nights and rental car since it still was cheaper than having me do 2-3 day trips, so I got to see a lot. I had to give that all up when I left, don’t get me wrong, I don’t regret staying home with my daughters, but I miss the travelling.

It could have been OK, my ex made enough money for us to travel with kids, but he stopped wanting too… He blamed work, he was too busy, can’t take time off. And when we did go somewhere, he was always working while on vacation. That’s why it hurts to know that he has taken more time off in the last year to travel with her, or by himself to see friends, than we’ve done in the past 6 years. And now with the divorce, since I’ve chosen to remain at home for another year at least, it means I can’t afford to travel… I’ve taken on the responsibility of the house and the main costs for the girls so the weekend trips to Amsterdam, the weekends in NYC etc that he’s doing feels like a kick in the stomach!!! I’m grateful my daughters are too young to understand, read on FB, all the things that he’s doing. I’ve told him to not mention it to them, because in the beginning he would call and say “I’m by the pool in New Orleans”, “The weather today in Florida is great” and they would ask me why can’t we go too? What do you say to something like that???

I have to say, to my credit, I’ve tried to take the high ground through most of this, so I’ve never said what I was thinking, but kids are so perceptive that I’m sure they’ve picked up on my pain. I’m going to try really hard to be happy for him that he can afford to go and do all these wonderful things and appreciate the fact that I’m very lucky to be able to stay in my house, I’m able to still stay home with my daughters and help them through this horrible time of their life and try to make happy memories for us. Compared to a lot of people who get divorced, I have it so good, I need to focus on that.

Things will get better, I will be able to travel again, I know this for sure!

 

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