Alone but Strong

Single mother of two beautiful girls trying to rebuild my life. One day at a time.

A Sigh of Relief

In our divorce negotiations I wanted the house. My ex and even our mediator was sceptical that I could afford to buy him out, both of them suggested co-owning for two years and then take the decision on what to do, most likely sell. Part of me thought that it would be great to be able to sell and buy something else, something smaller, this house is way to big for me and the girls, but this is where they were born (or at least came home from the hospital to). On this street they have friends. They know of nothing else. Also I absolutely wanted to stay in this little town, I have all my friends here.

To understand this fully you need to know that I’ve only been in this country for 12 years, me and the ex moved here from Sweden for work and ended up staying. We lived in two other places before we built this house in 2004. And before I became a stay at home mom, the only people I knew were people I worked with. This means that all my friends are people who I’ve made since the girls were born, my entire support network is in this little town, there was no way I was leaving that! And the problem with buying something else in this town is that all the smaller houses are at least 20 years old and require work, I’m not that handy to take on a renovation project, and there wouldn’t have been enough money to hire people to do it for me.

This is where the economy comes in play, I’m so fortunate that houses have gone down in value, this meant that I could buy him out. He got to keep his retirement account and most of our stock, but I got the house. The only thing that remained was to refinance. I had a year from our divorce was final to get him off the mortgage, otherwise I would have to put the house on the market.

Our mediator was very hesitant about this, she said people had had problems refinancing. I had to talked to two banks, both said the same thing, I would have to have received child support and alimony for 6 months before I could apply… They also said it should not be a problem after that. It has been a major stress factor in my life lately, but yesterday I got confirmation in the mail that the refinance on the house was done.

I signed the closing documents a week and a half ago but until I got that paper from the old mortgage company saying that their mortgage had been paid of, I did not dare believe it. But it is done!



  1. Fantastic for you!. A lot of people told me to ditch the house and start afresh somewhere else. However, everything else in my life was lost and the house that i had called home was the one thing I could cling onto that had been preserved of what we had had. My (adult) children also treasured coming back home to the childhood memories. Maybe further down the track when all is settled I will think differently and move but for the moment this is where I will stay.

    Well done you for securing the loan and best wishes in striding forward on your own. 🙂

  2. Both for me and for my little ones I felt like I had to. I love this place, we built the garden up from nothing, when we moved in there wasn’t even grass around the house. I’m glad I’m not the only one who feels like this.

    Best of all, I got a fixed 3% rate on a 15 year mortgage!!!

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