Alone but Strong

Single mother of two beautiful girls trying to rebuild my life. One day at a time.

My Baby Turns 5 Today!

My baby, my wonderful little girl, is turning 5 years old today. I can’t even imagine where the time went. I remember it like yesterday when we brought her home from the hospital. Her sister was 17 months and my then mother-in-law had been staying with her while we were in the hospital. I can still see it so clearly in my head.

Her sister was so excited to open presents so when she woke up at 6.20AM I had to get her to at least wait until 6.30AM to bring out the presents and wake the birthday girl up. It felt strange not to have her dad there, but we sang happy birthday and gave her the gifts. They were both so excited! I love that they are close in age so that they enjoy the same things. The gifts were a hit. I love the fact that I still know them so well that I know what to get them. Their faces were shining. That makes it all worth while!

Yesterday the ex texted me and asked if he could come up and say happy birthday and give her a present in the morning. If you read my post Disappointment you know that he had cancelled his Thursday night so that she would not wake up there this morning. I’m very proud of how I handled it, I texted back “Yes. 7.30 AM works for us. Have a nice time at C’s dinner tonight.” (C is his new girlfriend.) I wanted to acknowledge the fact that I knew exactly why he had cancelled his night, that his “I have something important to do” was a work dinner… So nothing of importance at all, no customers, only people that he would see for the meetings all day Thursday and Friday… He texted back with some questions regarding presents, which meant that he hadn’t bought anything yet, no mention of the dinner comment. I’m glad I waited and did not explode at the time he cancelled but I am happy that I got a chance to let it out.

So he came at 7.40AM, the girls were so excited to see him. I know they both miss him so much. Luckily we had already had breakfast and I had prepped everything for school already. He stayed and even walked with us up to the bus stop and saw them get on the bus for the first time this year. My little one was so happy on the walk up, she got to hold both our hands and for a little while feel like everything is the way it’s supposed to be (at least that is what I’m assuming that she was feeling, she looked so happy, skipping and singing). I wish my girls could always have that. That they didn’t have to experience the reality of life so early on in their lives.

But I’m going to do my best to make this one of the best days in her life. I see a trip to the ice cream farm in her future and a dinner at her favorite restaurant. And lots of hugs and kisses!

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