Alone but Strong

Single mother of two beautiful girls trying to rebuild my life. One day at a time.

The Little Things

I was reminded yesterday that it is the little things that we do, that makes for wonderful memories and a sense of happiness. The fact that I am always here for my daughters and all the things that I do for them, I hope that it will give them a sense of a happy and stable childhood even though they don’t have their mother and father living together.

I go to their library once a week, Tuesday afternoons for the older and Friday before lunch for the younger. I go on field trips, I help with reading in my older daughter’s classroom and I’m the room mother for my youngest. I pick up the oldest every day instead of having her take the bus, to give us an extra 50 minutes a day together, the youngest has only half day and her bus home takes only 5 minutes. They both love it when I come to school and ask every morning if I’m coming in. I know that I’m very fortunate to be able to do these things even after my divorce and I dread the day when I have to go back to work because of it.

At home we do crafts, homework, read lots of books, garden, bake, play board games/card games, play outside, and so much more.

So I think I can let up on the mommy guilt, I’m doing a lot for my children and I know that the fact that I’ve been able to keep their routine mostly the same is one of the reasons that they’ve been able to handle this divorce so well. I think/hope that they will look back on their childhood and realize that I did the best I could, like all parents.

I think the main reason I was getting upset was that they came home after yet another action packed weekend with their dad. But I have to keep reminding myself, those things are not what matters most, it’s the day-to-day that makes life better for children.

 

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5 Comments

  1. Yes, that can be difficult. Even though we were together when the children were small it was always dad that did the ‘fun’ things, the ‘exciting’ things; and Mum who did the boring things, the everyday things and the constraining things. Now as adults all my children appreciate the boring things and everyday things as the things that matter, the values that count. They look back with fondness and remark quite often about the fantastic childhood that they had – on having dinner together at night, the bedtime stories, the cooking for a school fete, me being there for the school parade and the school assemblies, the hugs and giving them my total 100% acceptance and unconditional love. And they even appreciate the constraints were out of care and love too. As a doctor in his first year in the emergency ward, my eldest son came to me and said ‘Mum, thanks for never letting me go in a car with four other kids with a novice driver. I know now why you did this. I have seen the other side (car accidents through the eyes of a doctor) – you did the right thing by us and I am so grateful to you for this part of my upbringing and also for the values that you instilled in me’

    • That is what I hope my girls will realize when they grow up too. I love them so much and I just want what’s best for them.

      • You are a great Mum. They will know this and tell you when they get older.
        Have a great weekend 🙂

  2. I know someone close to me with two young kids who went through a divorce so I know a bit about how hard it can be. You sound like a wonderful mother. 🙂 Thanks for coming by and for following~

  3. You are doing all kinds of memorable and meaningful things! I am so happy that you go to their classes, school, library, and are there for them. The fact they want you there, it is such a good sign! I could not afford to be a “stay at home” divorced mom, so I became a “stay at home” child care worker for only 5 special children. My kids were still happy that they could bring kids home after school, they also still love these kids that I helped raise for almost 9 years while they were in elementary and middle school. I was a single mom with a 1, 3 and 5 year old…made contracts with professional families and we all went to jazz, swim, tumbling and gymnastics lessons, movies, parks. We finished homework, crafts and I made them birthday cakes. It was and always will be the best years of my life. I dated, but did not settle down until the very end of those years.

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