Alone but Strong

Single mother of two beautiful girls trying to rebuild my life. One day at a time.

Long Time No Post

My parents have been for a 10 day visit so my days have been filled with family activities. They left yesterday with a promise to visit in the spring again. My daughters are very sad, it’s hard to not have grandparents close, I’m more used to it and to be honest no matter how much I love them, living in the same house for a long time is hard.

It was easier this time because I was purposely more selfish. I normally completely block out other things when they come and this time I actually insisted on them watching the girls for me on 3 separate occasions. It’s interesting, they claim that they come to see the kids (and me of course) but when I suggested that they watch the girls for 6 hours last weekend so that I could go on a hike my mom wanted me to ask my ex if he could take them… I did and he couldn’t so they had to watch them, and she did admit afterwards that it went fine. Then one night I left at 6.30PM to go out to dinner so they had to put them to bed (bedtime is 7PM). The last time was getting my youngest of the bus and I came home 30 minutes after that (I had gone to my weekly breakfast with friends, since first Sandy and then a snow storm had cancelled our plans two weeks in a row).

So for me this visit went better than normal, because I did get to do things that I normally do. I used to feel so guilty if I tried to do anything for me when they were here, but on the other hand that is an issue I’ve had ever since my daughters were born. I think that is one thing the divorce has taught me, nobody is going to look out for me, I have to prioritize me. I only have one life and I deserve to live it and be happy. We also got a lot of things done around my house. My dad especially cannot sit still so all the Fall yard work got done and they helped me clean out  a lot in the basement and garage.

Dating update:
Nothing ever came out of the date I went on two weeks back and to be honest I never expected it too. He is very shy and much older and I really have no interest in him. He was on the hike I went on last weekend and luckily it wasn’t uncomfortable at all! But it did open me up to the possibility of going on other dates.

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