Alone but Strong

Single mother of two beautiful girls trying to rebuild my life. One day at a time.

How To Not Be Bitter?

What can I do to not be bitter? Some days are easier than others but then something happens and the bitterness comes back to the surface  to show me that no matter how hard I try some part of me is still very bitter. So, you might ask, what brought it on this time? Well, my neighbor called me yesterday and asked if I could send my girls over to her house so that she could come over… I could hear in her voice that something was wrong. So I take the girls half way, they run over, it’s one of their best friend’s house, they’ve known her their whole life. My friend walks towards me, her husband is in the doorway, smiling and waving at me, when she comes closer I can see that she’s crying and she says: “You can probably guess what’s going on”. My heart sinks, I know that hopelessness, that sorrow, so well. I give her a big hug and we walk inside.

This is the couple that has been part of my support system this past year. I spend New Years with them. I’ve poured my heart out, to both of them. He, I thought, was one of the good ones, the kind I would like to find. He cooks, he helps to clean up, he took lots of time of when their daughter was born so that she wouldn’t have to go to daycare her first year. He still works from home on Mondays and Fridays so that she only have to have long school days on 3 days. He’s very thoughtful, caring. BUT as it turns out has had an affair for the past 2 years.

It is enough to make me think that there are no good ones out there, when the opportunity arises then they will jump. I’m hoping that it’s not true, I’m hoping that there are men out there who knows that the passion can’t last and if you want a relationship to work you have to work on it. You have to understand that there will be ups and downs. It definitely put a halt on any dating plans that I might have had, why would I want to find someone to have my heart broken again? Hence how do I not end up bitter?

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4 Comments

  1. Not sure why her husband is smiling and waving? This is sad and not rare at all, but I believe there are good men and you will find someone. I have had ups and downs but have found there are nice men out there. Finding chemistry and the “whole package” is a challenge, too.

    • They have decided to go to therapy and see if they can work it out… For their daughter I say they should give it a chance but I don’t know how she can trust him again.

  2. Did you find that you felt stronger, now that you can be the rock of support for her……and by your experience be empathetic to her pain?

    • I did. I felt like I could give advice that actually would be helpful. I remember so vividly friends trying to give advice to me and without being trough it yourself you can’t even imagine the feelings and pain. And what an emotional rollercoaster it is. We were joking about it, saying how good it was of me to do it a year before so that she would know what to do now 🙂 Making lemonade as much as I can here!

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