Alone but Strong

Single mother of two beautiful girls trying to rebuild my life. One day at a time.

Excited and Terrified

I have a date Saturday… I can’t begin to tell how weird that feels. And how excited I am that someone wants to spend time with me. And how terrified I am. I can’t help but worry about everything. What do you do on a date? The last date I had (not counting the accidental date I went on in November) was in 1995… I was 20… It turned into an overnight… And I basically moved in a week later… And before that I really hadn’t had a relationship longer than 3 weeks, I had concentrated on school, maybe gone on dates with 3 boys in my life. I know, that sounds pathetic, and if I have anything to say about my daughters love life I’ll make them have many more than that before settling down.

To be honest this person is the complete opposite of what I’m what I’ve always thought I was looking for, of how I’ve lived my life. But I really look forward to getting to know him better.

But I can’t help but wonder, am I so excited because this is the first person to show an interest in me in a long time or is it because I find him attractive? Not a very flattering thought but I’m being honest here! Any advice would be greatly appreciated! Do I tell him I’m terrified? Of how inexperienced I am in dating? I’m guessing no… Not really a turn-on for someone.

Background: I met him at a meditation group on Sunday. We started talking as soon as I got there and when we left he asked if I wanted to see him again.

So details: We are going on a walk in a park and then out for drinks/dinner. Should I give him a hug when we meet? Kiss at the end? More? I guess only time will tell…



  1. Best of luck!!!!

  2. Good luck tonight. I hope it’s enjoyable.

    • Thanks! I had fun but no sparks…

      • It was a big step and you took it. That’s sparks enough.

  3. I am of a different age and perspective. I have been trying with a variety of people and have been juggling a little bit. I think it is soo nice that you met him spontaneously! I am so glad that he wanted to go out. You are already through the big date, but I always give hugs, I always use enthusiasm, even when my friends say ‘be mysterious’ or ‘keep your cards close to your chest.’ I guess you will know as it goes. Happy dating!

    • Thanks! That’s basically what I did, gave hug and talked freely. I want to be myself, if someone doesn’t like me being me it’ll never work out anyway so what’s the point? It was fun, no sparks unfortunately, but I think I did really good for a first date! He wants to go out again, we’ll see…

      • Maria, When I met my current husband Ronnie of 18 years now we started as friends. I never thought eventually there would be sparks fireworks etc again in my life. We just talked my heart was dead from being abused . Even after we married it took several years before I could trust , or not think at any moment he would attack me out of the blue. For years when my husband would raise his hands in disgust over a basketball game and say “oh my gosh” that was not a foul or any call a ref made that he felt was unjust. My heart would pound and I would duck thinking I was going to be hit. It was years before I was able to get over that fear. When we have been abused it takes so much of our soul … keep an open mind and enjoy the company of a new found friend.

      • That’s basically what I told him, I wanted to be honest from the start and said that I would like to spend time with him, as friends. Time will tell if he is interested in a friend or not. Thank you for the follow.

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