Alone but Strong

Single mother of two beautiful girls trying to rebuild my life. One day at a time.

Am I the Crazy One?

Here we go again. My ex has me questioning my sanity! First some background. What I didn’t mention in my last post about the blizzard was that the ex texted me on Saturday morning at 10.15. Keep in mind that I got 3 feet of snow, I had already shoveled for 1.5h and I knew I had many more hours left to go (took about 16 hours over 2 days).

Ex: “Did everything go ok?” Doesn’t seem like there was that much snow.”
Me: “You are kidding right? This is more snow than I’ve ever seen!!”
Ex: “Ohh, I’m in NYC and we didn’t get much.”

So how I read this is, he wanted to make sure that I knew he was in NYC for the weekend. Then Monday he texts that his driveway hasn’t been plowed so he has no car. You might ask why is this important information for me. And so did I, until I realized two things.
1) He wants me to think that he had a car service take him to and from NYC.
2) He is supposed to have the girls Wednesday night until Thursday (Valentine’s day) morning and he won’t be able to.

I don’t respond. Another text on Tuesday, still not plowed, no car. I don’t respond, at this point, I don’t believe him. And if that was the case he could shovel himself out, he goes to the gym most days of the week to lift weights, this would be a perfect chance to actually use some muscle. And if he doesn’t want to shovel, have a car service drive the girls home, I don’t care. My guess is that the new women in his life can’t get away on Thursday evening/night so he was trying to get away from having the girls so that he could see her, never mind that he hadn’t seen his daughters since Feb 3.

Another text on Wednesday morning, not shoveled, no car. I still don’t reply and he still hasn’t asked me to take not bring the girls, just implied that he can’t drive them home. At noon on Wednesday we find out that school will finally open again the next day and the Valentine’s Day party for my older one is on. So she decides that she wants to have a dress that is at her dad’s house. So I send a text asking if we can stop by in the afternoon and pick up the dress. And lo and behold, 20 seconds later I have a text that says that they have just plowed his driveway and the girls can spend the night…

So he is still lying to me, for whatever reason. Anyway this morning the girls come home, they bring cards that they’ve bought and 12 dozen red roses… Still find it creepy to get flowers, I know that it’s the girls but still the thought of him buying me flowers… sickening. Anyway, I guess I’m shorter than normal with him and he keeps asking what’s wrong. I smile and say nothing is wrong.

We had decided a few weeks ago to do our taxes together, but after this, I don’t trust him, the little trust he had built back up is gone. So after he left I send an email to him saying that I’ve changed my mind and that I’ll be doing my taxes alone. First he calls, I don’t pick up, it’s 10 min before the bus and I don’t want to talk to him. So then he emailed me this: “Ok, but it is probably easier if he (the tax guy) can check so that we don’t double dip somewhere. The IRS will be extra hard this year. I tried calling earlier. Something is obviously wrong, I would like to sort it out. ”

Why is it that he always manages to get me to second guess my decisions. He always makes it sound like I’m the one doing things wrong. Trying to scare me (with the IRS this time). Playing the victim, “I don’t know what’s wrong”, “why are you acting this way”. I’m so tired of it!!!! I want him out of my life forever!!!! And I know, he never will be… That’s the sad part, he’s still their dad and I can’t do anything about that…

Thanks for listening to me rant!!!



  1. Its hard to still have your ex in your life and more, be civil because he is still the father of your girls. My two cents, get everything in your life independent of him. It will make your life far easier. Initially he will try to play the victim but once you stop paying attention or second guessing your decisions he will stop.

    • That’s the plan! Thanks for reading!

  2. Jet

    You’re so strong to ignore him all those times! And SMART 😉

    • Thanks! I’m learning 🙂

  3. He’s so passive-aggressive. Reading your post reminded me of stuff my husband would and still does say. I feel you on wanting him out of your life forever, but we can’t…there are children involved.

    • And looking back over the 18 years that I’ve known him, he’s always done this. And the only thing I can do is try and ignore everything that doesn’t involve our children.

  4. I agree don ‘t continue to second guess him. There is no reason to stress yourself out. because with knowing him 18yrs you are actually not second guessing him. You know him!!

  5. You deserve a medal! Most people will side with you! Don’t worry, you are doing as best you can, under the circumstances….


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