A Discussion I Would Have Liked To Have Saved For When They Were Older…
So this morning at breakfast we were talking about that my ex has added his new girlfriend E to their contact list on their iPads so they Facetime and send her messages. Mind you, he has not added my contact so they can’t send me messages… Then my oldest, she’s six, said: “We sent a naked picture of daddy to E”. And they were both laughing and thinking it was so funny. I couldn’t even hide my shock and scared them a little with my reaction. It turns out he was wearing underwear but still!!! I asked them what he said about them sending it and they said he laughed about it. I calmed down and explained all the reasons why you should never take naked or half-naked pictures of yourself. And never, ever send them to anyone, not even a boyfriend. This was a discussion that I was planning on having with them when they were much older and not when they are 5 and 6.
So I then get them off to school and try to do something else to calm myself down enough to write a polite email about my concerns. And what do you think his answer was? First he had to make it clear that my tone was not making the discussion productive (?). And there were no naked pictures only pictures of him in the bathroom getting ready (which I’m assuming he was doing in his underwear). He claims that he didn’t know they took the pictures (didn’t know that there were more than one) and sent them and when he found out he talked to them about it and said that you should not do that.
Obviously that is not how they heard it, so either he didn’t say what he claims or he did not stress that you never, ever do that. They are old enough to understand something as serious as this. You do not try to smooth it over. I said in my email to him, what if they take pictures of themselves in their underwear and send to her? What if her 16-year-old son sees the pictures? I’m guessing that’s my tone that he had a problem with… I don’t care! I will try my best to raise daughters who know what to do and what not to do, I don’t care about “my tone”.