Happiness and Weight
I’ve realized that happiness and weight go hand in hand for me. When I was going through my divorce I lost all the weight I had put on since I met my ex husband. The difference from when I met my ex until the day he said he wanted a divorce was a gain of 30 pounds (14 kg) over 16 years. At that point I was at my all time heaviest (when not pregnant) of 159 pounds (72 kg). I was very unhappy with the way I looked, but content with my life so it didn’t matter enough to do something about it. I should say I didn’t matter enough to me to do something about it. I was very out of shape and I wasn’t exercising at all.
Then my world fell apart and I couldn’t eat. My friends got me started with running again, so for the first time in 6 years, I was running and not eating enough. Not the best or healthiest combination but the weight melted away until the day of our divorce when I stopped loosing. For the next year, I was in limbo, not happy, but eating and exercising so I maintained a weight of 128 pounds (58 kg) without a problem.
Now for the past 3 months I’ve steadily gotten happier and I’ve gained weight. At first I didn’t worry about it, but now my pants are starting to feel snug. This morning I weighed 139 pounds (63 kg)… I need to take control and stop gaining weight! Why is it so hard for me to be happy and maintain weight? I know the simplistic answer is “I love food”. But that doesn’t cut it, I’ve always loved food, the year after my divorce I also loved food, but I didn’t gain weight. So that is the big question on my mind this morning. I need to figure out why so that I can face it and stop this bad cycle that I’m in right now.