Alone but Strong

Single mother of two beautiful girls trying to rebuild my life. One day at a time.

Happiness and Weight

I’ve realized that happiness and weight go hand in hand for me. When I was going through my divorce I lost all the weight I had put on since I met my ex husband. The difference from when I met my ex until the day he said he wanted a divorce was a gain of 30 pounds (14 kg) over 16 years. At that point I was at my all time heaviest (when not pregnant) of 159 pounds (72 kg). I was very unhappy with the way I looked, but content with my life so it didn’t matter enough to do something about it. I should say I didn’t matter enough to me to do something about it. I was very out of shape and I wasn’t exercising at all.

Then my world fell apart and I couldn’t eat. My friends got me started with running again, so for the first time in 6 years, I was running and not eating enough. Not the best or healthiest combination but the weight melted away until the day of our divorce when I stopped loosing. For the next year, I was in limbo, not happy, but eating and exercising so I maintained a weight of 128 pounds (58 kg) without a problem.

Now for the past 3 months I’ve steadily gotten happier and I’ve gained weight. At first I didn’t worry about it, but now my pants are starting to feel snug. This morning I weighed 139 pounds (63 kg)… I need to take control and stop gaining weight! Why is it so hard for me to be happy and maintain weight? I know the simplistic answer is “I love food”. But that doesn’t cut it, I’ve always loved food, the year after my divorce I also loved food, but I didn’t gain weight. So that is the big question on my mind this morning. I need to figure out why so that I can face it and stop this bad cycle that I’m in right now.



  1. I seem to be the opposite than you. I over-eat and gain weight when I am stressed or unhappy. I easily am able to maintain my weight when everything is chugging along OK.
    I suppose at least we have both recognised the non-nutritional factors that contribute and that is a good first step.
    Good luck with the weight maintenance. I am with you.

    • Thank you! It’s facinating how different people react to similar situations completely different.

  2. I chose to lose weight after my divorce, but I did have a Dr. telling me that I needed to lose or go on anti-cholesterol meds! I was up around 145 or so, but my sizes were what caught my attention! I wore some jeans that were size 14! I am now after losing 20 in the first year of divorce, 20 in the second year of divorce back up a bit to what I was in my thirties. No meds! Yeah! I think happy people in a couple or in a family choose to enjoy and savor food more, I did not enjoy food while married but stress built a muffin top and they say stress can build cortisol or fat around the middle. Now I am still bottom “heavy” but happy to be comfortable in my own skin! You need not worry, you will plateau and be fine, just enjoy how you feel! I am glad you are happy!

    • It think you’re right, I’ve seem to have reached a plateau now, so I’m happy with that.

      • I just noticed the good news that you have plateaued and I bet you the heat, walking or gardening or outside activities with the girls will help keep you “in check.” I am just glad you are relaxed more and feeling happier.

  3. I also have bounced around on the scale. My weight will vary 20-30 pounds depending on stress. When stressed I turn to food, i don’t eat sweets but I love chips and salsa and bread.. oh and wine was the culprit too. But I gave up the wine and all booze a few months ago. At 51 years old now all I care about is happiness and not so much about the pounds.

    • I think it’s getting to a more stable point right now. For me it seems putting it out there, in print, helps, no matter what the issue.

  4. I agree with the point that putting our problems down, whether in a diary, on paper or on our blog, somehow things get better! I also give it over to God, hoping to not feel I am in control of all things! It releases some of the stress, too.

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