Alone but Strong

Single mother of two beautiful girls trying to rebuild my life. One day at a time.

Why Does It Have To Be So Hard?

It’s been almost two weeks and nothing has been decided. There has been a few e-mails back and forth but he takes his time between every single one of them. We are now trying to agree on dates moving forward based on the current parenting agreement since we have nothing decided after August 25. The current agreement states that he should have 2 out of 3 weekends and Thursday and Tuesday overnight around the weekend that I have and when he has them for weekends he should return them to me at 4.30 PM.

So a week ago I sent a proposal based on that for the next 3 months. Yesterday I still hadn’t heard anything so I resent the e-mail. This is the e-mail I get back:

“My apologies, it’s been very busy at work lately…

The work related things I have are

– Sept 20-24 customer event and meeting in Seattle
– Oct 7-11 service meeting in Portugal

I would want to give it some thought on the Tue and Thu stays, today they get up at 6am to make it to your house by 7am – which turns into a pretty long day with a lot of car time for them. On the other hand, not seeing each other for 12 days was painful. Maybe there is something we can agree on where for those days, I come up to you, take them to dinner and return them to you? If not, that’s fine.

For Sundays, I would like to have dinner with them first and then bring them to you- can we make that a 630-7pm drop off instead?

Other than that, the dates work well for me”

I thought he said that he wanted to stick with the current parenting agreement! He needs to think about it? And change drop off time? So I responded with:
“Would you be willing to pick them up at school on Fridays traded with getting to keep them longer on Sundays and only dinners on Tuesdays and Thursdays instead of overnights? If I get a job, 4.30 drop off at your house can be a challenge. The pickup on Tuesdays and Thursday would also be at school, but then returned to the house.

I think we should agree on that before deciding the dates.

What other dates would you not be available around those work meetings, are you travelling on the days you wrote or are there additional days where you are not available?”

I sent that at 3PM yesterday and of course so far there has been no answer. But this is why I said we needed to talk about this since the day we got back from our vacation, it’s been a month and we would have had plenty of time if he had only been communicating with me.

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8 Comments

  1. Rough.

  2. Nothing seems to change and this is such a challenging situation. I feel your pain, sometimes I had to rely on friends and ignored my ex. Sometimes I even said “No” to him but regretted it because of his retaliation. The kids should come first in his world, but realistically YOU are the one who really cares! Sorry and wishing you an easier time ahead… Sending you a big hug! Robin

    • Thank you for the hug, I need it. He still has not answered me… It’s been almost another week.

      • He is really a passive aggressive person! I cannot believe he doesn’t even care enough about the kids!!

  3. Not ok !! wishing you the best

  4. Maria

    I’m sad to say that after reading this complicated plan, I’m happy that Adam is 16,000 miles away. Thank you for pointing out my blessings. I wish you well with your challenges.

  5. How is it going now? I think about you and worry, too, at the silence… Hope you have found a good place to be, that you are mentally not too troubled by his actions and unkindnesses. You deserve some peace of mind! Take care and thanks for ‘liking’ my posts, too!

  6. Thanks for your always being there, on my posts! Hope all is going better for you and the children. The ex needs to be straightened out on his priorities! Smiles and a hug to you!

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